Monday, January 24, 2011

The Future Me Is AWESOME!

Sitting next to my diet coke and headless chocolate reindeer, I marvel at how heavy I've become. Guilt seasons each mouthful and I assure myself that things will change. They must!

Yes, tomorrow, I will collect my willpower and resolve.

Tomorrow I will eat only healthy foods and avoid all the garbage that has stuck to my ribs (well actually, more than just the ribs… let's go with all 206 of the bones - yeah, I have chocolate reindeer and other junk foods stuck to ALL of my skeletal system; plus maybe also stuck on some tendons, blood vessel walls, surely; brain, liver… ok let's say I have gobs of fat stuck everywhere and leave it at that).

To feel better now, I tell myself about what I will do tomorrow. In addition to a better diet, I will of course also be heading back to the fitness center! Despite not having the knees to run… or apparently to walk now, too… I can start swimming! I love to swim! The downside of smelling like chlorine every day for the rest of my life is a small price to pay for health!

As soon as I am done fitnessing, I will do some health-eating. Then I will NOT turn to my game computer and visit the vast wastelands of Fallout 3 (or other exotic and exciting locales waiting for me to double-click on their welcoming icons). And while that's on the chopping block, it would probably be for the best if I just canceled the satellite service too. No need to be wasting time watching Fringe and The Mentalist. Instead, I will use that time to get all the chores around the house done. There's lots of stuff in need of being sorted and thrown out or donated! Not to mention the painting, sanding, and minor repairs that need to be done here and there. Oh yeah, the cellar could REALLY use a makeover! So that's what I will do starting tomorrow!

Well, at least some of that tomorrow. I can't do everything in one day.

So, then... probably this weekend I will get that other stuff done. That really makes the most sense. The weekend is better for big jobs like cellars. Then in the afternoon, when I finish those bigger jobs, I can settle in and work on getting lectures tweaked. New material worked into the PowerPoints. Look over alternate texts for future classes. Get my next research project panned out. You know... Whatever else needs attention.

It is a great relief to me to know that Tomorrow-Me and Weekend-Me have everything under control. So for now, I can sit back, finish my reindeer and 0-calorie carbonated beverage and hope that Today-Me doesn't get in the way of any of the Awesome-Me's of the future!

I really can't wait to meet them! They are soooo cooler than me. Unlike Yesterday-Me who ruined my chances of being Tomorrow-Me, today…

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're not fat. You're just big-boned... like Eric Cartman.

9:32 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home